The Bean and The Couple

The Bean and The Couple, originally uploaded by Suzanne Hartwick.

Being a photographer leads you a lot of different places. Sitting on the sidewalk during a marathon, wiping other people’s sweat off of yourself, getting stuck in an airport when your flight gets canceled, and lying on your back underneath a gigantic metallic bean in the middle of Chicago.

If fact, if you can zoom in enough, can you spot the photographer lying on the ground. I’m there :-p.

Just figured I’d share that photograph with everyone. Have a good night.

Suzanne

End of bloggers block

Yes, I know, its been a while since I posted. Where are the stories of the big city Suzanne?

Truth is, I’m back in Athens right now, and only now that I’ve gotten some distance from the big city can I reflect on my internship there.

Don’t get me wrong, New York is great. But it is the sort of place that throws stuff at you all the time, every hour of the day, and, well… I usually need some distance to blog about things.

That, and I was doing so much during the days that by the time I would have actually had some time for blogging, I’d rather do something a little less thought intensive. Like sleep.

There it is, truth’s out. I apologize to any readers that were hoping for stories at the time, and didn’t get any. They will be coming though.

I have to say though, I learned a while lot this summer, about what I can and can not do as a professional, and what I really don’t want to be doing. About how there may be more avenues open to me than I realized. And how I still have my artistic talent.

As I get ready to fly to Chicago to cover the marathon, I realize that the whole world is before me.

There’s a start to the makeup blogs. I really do promise more to come.

The Culture of Cat Calls

I apologize for the lack of updates lately. The internship has been going well, but by the time I’m done for the day, I’m done, if you know what I mean.

New York has been wonderful, and confusing, and sometimes rather scary. I sound like a small town hick when I say it, but there are just too many people here.

And while I still struggle to get the vibe down, to fit in, I’m living in a part of the city, the Bronx, who’s culture is so far away from my own that I’m feeling completely lost sometimes.

It isn’t that Spanish is the main language here, and spoken far too fast for me to hope of picking up any sort of gist of it. It isn’t that most of the time I’m the only white woman walking on the side walk, though, sometimes that does make me a bit uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable because of the way people seem to” react to me.

I don’t know how to fit in, or even if I can without getting a tan and speaking Spanish. And there’s something that keeps me from wanting to fit in either.

The culture of cat calls.

From talking with fellow house mates, I have been told that it is sometimes a show of respect and appreciation to look a woman up and down and say something to compliment their appearance, and if that seemed to be all there was too it, believe me I would not have a problem with it.

But, at least for me, it has very rarely been that way.

Often, calls of “Hey sweetie,” and “Hey gorgeous”–innocent enough phrases on their own–are accompanied by looks that are not innocent at all. I’ve been looked up and down and leered at like I’m some sort of sexual, dehumanized being. Looks that make me feel filth and well… wronged.

Yes, I have tried to ignore them. Yes, I have tried to just take them as compliments and move on. But there is a power dynamic there that’s really putting me on edge.

When people cat call women like that, when they leer like that, its… I’m struggling for a way to describe it.

It says “I’m the aggressor, and you are nothing more than a pretty little bit of ass to me.”

I thought about being aggressive right back, but… I’m afraid of what would happen if I did. Would the people on the street take my side, or theirs.

Some of you are going to think I’m whining and complaining. But, if anyone still reads this blog, I would hazard a guess that some of you, both men and women, know exactly what I’m talking about.

And, again, if anyone still reads, do you have any suggestions about what I can do to minimize this, bar hiding. Or, as one person suggested, growing a dick (if thats the only solution, this truly is a sorry world we live in). Is there any way I can turn it into something playful when the original intention was not?

Well, thats my thoughts for the evening. I hope you all are doing well.

End of the first week.

I could say I’m exhausted, but that would be an understatement. And I could tell you what I’ve done, but it really wouldn’t seem like that much.

I’m adjusting well to my new job, and though I’m doing a lot of prep stuff and more office related work (I’m also taking on the challenge of figuring out a good way to organize their photos. Realizing quickly how far outside my current realm of knowledge it is right now).

But don’t worry, and never fear. This job is not going to be so far removed from photojournalism. While my end product is going to be used in a presentation and not a paper, I am going to be working on a documentary. Figured since, well, being the only photographer, I’m pretty much setting my own goals for the day, I would get the hang of the city and get a feel for the place I’m working at before I start shooting (pictures).

It was odd, this week, watching myself and my reactions. I realized how shy I get when out of my comfort zone, and going from little old Athens Ohio to the Bronx. Athens is a little university town where the majority is white, usually a lot of Irish descendants like me, to a neighborhood where often I’m the only white chic walking down the streets and I feel people looking at me, not sizing me up like I’m a target or anything. No, its different.

They are trying to figure out where to place me in the scheme of things.

Am I a white tourist down here for the Botanical Gardens, or a rich white woman from Manhattan spending the day (had one person try and sell me perfume, I’m assuming he went with that assumption). Or am I closer to their level.

I hope they see that. I don’t hold myself above anyone. I hold myself back, thats for sure, because really, I don’t know the rules here yet. Its not like Athens. I walk down the street, and I’m a nice, bubbly person, I smile and say hi to everyone back home, even people I’ve never seen before. And I’m starting to do it now.

People don’t know how to take it. But I take it as a good sign that I’m getting smiles back.

Do I fit in? Not at all. Am I ever going to fit in? Probably not. Am I going to get to the point where my difference becomes part of the flavor of the area…. I think probably.

And that’s part of who I am. Sometimes I have a harder time than others, but I jump in pretty quickly, and I adapt. Then I take on the next challenge, one step higher.

This is the woman who taught herself audio, with the help of Bob Sacha, in a week.

Well, world. Bring it on.

Internship, Day 2

Another day done.

I’ve been working on making this photo mosaic, and its starting to come together, at least in my head. I’m trying to use little photos of the people Highbridge has helped/been associated with. Yes, there are programs to do this. From what I’ve seen, I haven’t been happy with the results.

So I’m using both my photographic eye and my creative mind to put together something that is going to turn out great. At first, I was wondering if I was getting too far from my photography roots, but then I realized, the photography was an offshoot of a deeper root of my creativity that has always been there. And, I am using what I have learned to see with photography to this end.

There are many other things to do that are more photo related than this, but sitting down and thinking about it, I’m probably the person best suited to this project right now.

Not being boastful, just telling it like I see.

Even though this isn’t exactly pure photojournalism, and I’m not being mentored by another photographer (in fact, if I have a question, I have to figure it out, because often I’m the one who knows the most) but it is teaching me a wealth of information I don’t think I would have gotten in a traditional internship.

So far, I’m really enjoying it.

I’ll keep you all updated.

Suzanne